chronicled & illustrated

window
Originally uploaded by nuanc

I love this little blog. I started it in full expectation of NOT posting often enough and then I did pretty well with it.

I am not a consistent person. Moodiness is so much a part of my genetic make-up that I am always astounded to learn that some people aren’t controlled by their mood-of-the-day. I’m drawn off task by not only moods, but also by the newest shiniest activity that catches my interest. And yet, I almost always return to what I love. And this blog, I love.

It feels like me, she said, shyly.

Fertile, then fallow, quiet without being private or secretive, heart-felt and earnest but with tongue-in-cheek.

Inconsistent. Also ambiguous. Moody.

January was a real up and (mostly) downer. I started an overly ambitious writing project that didn’t last more than two days. That led to a slump which caused me to seek solace in mind-numbing computer games, an obsession from which I haven’t fully recovered. There were other things. Emotional snowfalls began piling on, adding layer after layer of weight. Because it wasn’t a blizzard but a steadily growing accumulation of tiny things, I was unaware of what was happening.

I’m on the mend. Writing this is part of my recovery. I love this blog. I must do it more often and then I will remember other things that I love doing and I will rediscover the path to feeling that. Then, I’m sure, I will also get excited about the next new shiny thing that catches my interest. I can do both when I’m occupying the busy part of my life.

The illustration is of winter taken through the old stained glass panels in the stairwell of our house. Part of it I can see through and part I can’t and that is Like Life.

Hugs all ’round.

Well, NaNoWriMo is done for another year. It was a month of steady-steady-steady writing. I think I had three days when I didn’t get my quota (1667) done and one of those was Day 1 when I’d just returned from being out of town for three weeks. Even in that steadiness, however, I felt many ups and downs.

The bottom line is that I didn’t end up with a cohesive novel. I spent time the last day, after reaching 50,000 words, just writing notes to myself about what seems good about the writing and what doesn’t. One of the things I did was to list all the subplots I had going on. No wonder it never gelled! There were about ten separate things, some of them introduced once and never revisited!

I also wrote what I thought the plot should be. After spending a month immersed in that world and those characters, of course I know better what directions I should gone. I think the notes helped and will help in the future. I have more of a overview of what I wrote rather than being left with the impression of the last few days of writing which was less than inspiring. I also feel that the notes will serve me well later when I want to go back to it. It will give me a way into the story.

So that’s a wrap on Nano 2007.

On the other writing front: I finished the first draft of the short story on Saturday.

Ahhh, such a simple sentence.

Finishing a short story was once close to impossible for me. I had a writing teacher early on who was in the habit of spending 6 months to a year on a short story. She was a very bad influence on me!!! I have since joined a writing group with some wonderful role models who are much more practical. They have been a very good influence on me!!!

This story was a personal challenge to see if I could come up with an idea, write it, edit it, polish it, and send it off to the Nova Scotia Writer’s Federation contest all within 3 weeks. Oh, one other thing: it had to come in under 3,000 words, a feat I’ve never managed before.

So you see… it’s a simple sentence with much import for me. Yesterday I edited and rewrote the ending. Last night I read it out loud and felt it was choppy so I worked on transitions today and did line editing. This afternoon I gave to two trusted readers. While handing it over is always nerve-wracking, I did feel proud that I’ve gotten it to this point with four days to go before it has to be postmarked. The verdict is in from one of my readers; it got a thumbs up!

Now, finally, I have time to clean the bathroom.
What a reward, eh?
Oh the glamourous life of a writer!

…IT’S DONE!!!

Or, at any rate, it’s over.

I’m happy I did it and more than ready to get on with so many things that I’ve neglected this month.

I’m not through with writing for the year, however. I’m deeply embroiled in the antics of two characters in the short story I started last week. Still trying to write it in as few words as possible. Quite a challenge for me and a different way of writing than the novel, but it seems to be progressing. I’m determined to get it into shape by December 7th in time to mail it out in the the world.
A Christmas present I’m giving myself.

Happy. Relief. Sense of Accomplishment.

Sighhhhhhhhh…

spires
Originally uploaded by nuanc

I’ve got nothin’. It’s been a long day. I’ve written, talked and altogether used up too many words. Instead of words, I offer this odd, rather mysterious photograph.

But just before I quit using words for the day, I’d like to make a toast:

Here’s to the inexpressible. The tangle of feelings that has no neat label. The overwhelming moment that leaves us not only wordless but breathless as well. The times words will not do. Here’s to tears, screams, moans, dancing, making love, wrestling, climbing trees, falling down, skipping, running for the joy of it. To laughter. To music. To drumming. To throwing paint and pounding clay. To all the non-verbal languages giving voice to that which we would otherwise be unable to express.

G’night sweet bodies out there.

fathers go to war
Originally uploaded by nuanc

My dad died on November 20th. I think. But I’m not certain of it. It is one of those dates that really seems as if it SHOULD stick— forever and without a doubt—in my mind, especially for someone like me who is basically good with dates and details. However, it doesn’t. I know what this is about. I have a mental block. I don’t want to remember it. If I remember the date, I have to also remember the details of that week and other things that my mind will immediately associate with this part of November such as when John Kennedy was shot and sometimes even US Thanksgiving which wasn’t always the best holiday for me.

Both John Kennedy and Corey Shepard—these good, interesting and smart men—have been gone a very long time. I was pregnant with my second son when my dad died and he is now 27 years old. But it will always make me sad that they died young and unfinished.

We are smartest when we appreciate life even through all the hardships and challenges and sad days that are rougher than others.

Yesterday I got a rejection letter. It was a wonderfully personal and NICE rejection letter. But it still hurt. I’ve always said that they’re like getting kicked in the shin. It’s a sudden unexpected sharp pain that doesn’t last long, then it’s sore for a little while and then you move on and don’t think about it much. Today, it’s still a little tender.

Small wounds and large, we sometimes just have an achy day to get through.

winds of change
Originally uploaded by nuanc

I got to a stopping point in my writing today slightly before I got to the word count I wanted.
I could have pushed it, but I felt it needed to rest. The story is at a crucial juncture and, to tell you the truth, I am not quite sure what’s going to happen. If I had continued today, my fear is that I would have gone off on a tangent.

Sometimes in NaNoWriMo we have to just keep writing even though we know we don’t know where we’re going. I do it if I’m falling too far behind in the word count or if I am uninspired. But sometimes it’s okay to wait. I’m close to being on track with the word count and I am feeling inspired. With both of those things working for me, I’d rather let a little time pass and give it some unfocused, C-mindful simmering before I write what comes next.

That C-mind stuff is what happens in the shower or while chopping vegetables or taking a walk or even cleaning the house (not that any of us are getting that done this month, right?). It’s what happens when we’re into our novels enough that the characters and the situation are with us even when we aren’t directing our minds toward them. When we’re engaged in an activity that doesn’t require our full attention, our minds will sometimes drift across the landscape of story we’re working on and come up with the best ideas! It’s one of the most fun things about writing.

That’s what I’m hoping for tonight.

In the meantime, I took some photos. My camera has literally been on the shelf since I got back from Houston just before Halloween. This evening I heard the wind coming up and I looked outside. It was just before dusk and the cornstalks in the garden were doing fantastic things in the gusting wind. I got a new flash when I was in Houston and it is supposed to not only help me with the low light but also capturing motion. One of my frustrations is that I haven’t had time to learn to use it!

Happily, I took the time to get the camera and go outside. I got the shot above as well as some other blurry ones that I love. I still don’t know what I’m doing with the flash but that’s one of the great things about digital: you can see the mistakes you’ve made immediately. Instantaneous feedback! It felt good to shoot some photos, so much so that I’m vowing to take a few everyday through the rest of the month. It’s not as if it takes that much time and it feels great to *focus* on something other than writing.

Sorry.

I also uploaded an excerpt to my nano profile page.