chronicled & illustrated

winds of change
Originally uploaded by nuanc

I got to a stopping point in my writing today slightly before I got to the word count I wanted.
I could have pushed it, but I felt it needed to rest. The story is at a crucial juncture and, to tell you the truth, I am not quite sure what’s going to happen. If I had continued today, my fear is that I would have gone off on a tangent.

Sometimes in NaNoWriMo we have to just keep writing even though we know we don’t know where we’re going. I do it if I’m falling too far behind in the word count or if I am uninspired. But sometimes it’s okay to wait. I’m close to being on track with the word count and I am feeling inspired. With both of those things working for me, I’d rather let a little time pass and give it some unfocused, C-mindful simmering before I write what comes next.

That C-mind stuff is what happens in the shower or while chopping vegetables or taking a walk or even cleaning the house (not that any of us are getting that done this month, right?). It’s what happens when we’re into our novels enough that the characters and the situation are with us even when we aren’t directing our minds toward them. When we’re engaged in an activity that doesn’t require our full attention, our minds will sometimes drift across the landscape of story we’re working on and come up with the best ideas! It’s one of the most fun things about writing.

That’s what I’m hoping for tonight.

In the meantime, I took some photos. My camera has literally been on the shelf since I got back from Houston just before Halloween. This evening I heard the wind coming up and I looked outside. It was just before dusk and the cornstalks in the garden were doing fantastic things in the gusting wind. I got a new flash when I was in Houston and it is supposed to not only help me with the low light but also capturing motion. One of my frustrations is that I haven’t had time to learn to use it!

Happily, I took the time to get the camera and go outside. I got the shot above as well as some other blurry ones that I love. I still don’t know what I’m doing with the flash but that’s one of the great things about digital: you can see the mistakes you’ve made immediately. Instantaneous feedback! It felt good to shoot some photos, so much so that I’m vowing to take a few everyday through the rest of the month. It’s not as if it takes that much time and it feels great to *focus* on something other than writing.

Sorry.

I also uploaded an excerpt to my nano profile page.

Dear Fellow Wrimos,

The half-way mark!!!
Does it feel good or depressing?
I guess that depends on how we’ve done so far. If you’re way ahead in the word count, it probably feels good. You’ve been on a roll and it shows. If you’re behind, it feels as if you might never catch up and two more weeks may not seem like enough time. If you’re like me and just hit the 25,000 mark, it feels FINE…but there are no fireworks. It just means two more weeks of hard core writing!

But I think how we’ve done so far is a bad predictor of how the rest of the month will go.

For me, Nano this year seems to turn on a dime. Yesterday was hard; today was a joy. In the same way, a free-for-all beginning that is fun to write, may not be so much fun as the plot thickens. And being way behind can be the biggest motivator of all. Nothing like a looming deadline to get us going.

Either way, whatever our word count now, and however it turns out, we can be proud and satisfied to have written a great deal more than most people do in a year (or more).

Mine is definitely half full.

Onward,
Nanc

This Jackson Pollock widget is one I found this morning on Michelle’s lovely blog: Lady Language. Thank you, Michelle! I saw the website (sorry, I don’t seem to have bookmarked it so I can’t link it right now) several months ago and I thought was so fun and funny, but I hadn’t seen the widget until this morning. I immediately got it for my very own and posted it on The PCQ.

Here’s a link to some real Jackson Pollocks.

To play with it, just pass your mouse over it. Click to get a different colour. That’s it. Splashing “Paint” without the clean-up.

I feel like I could use a nice long session of splashing real paint. Fingerpainting. Bodypainting. I need to break out a little. I’ve been writing almost everyday for two weeks now and it’s getting to me even though yesterday I didn’t write at all. I woke up early, worried about all the other things in my life that I’ve been neglecting—typical for NaNoWriMo. So I set out to do the ones I could. It was paper work and tax stuff (my favourite) and lots of little noodling things. Later, even though I had the time to write, I simply couldn’t get in that frame of mind again.

Today was gruesome. Not only did I know and could-not-forget that I had to write twice as much in order to catch up, I also felt like I’d written myself into several corners.

I didn’t know what the hell I was thinking when I had this character say that and the other do this! I knew that I could either go back and rewrite those things that were giving me fits or I could suck it up and figure out how to make it work for me. I decided on the sucking up choice. It remains to be seen if what I am writing will work or not, but it feels good that at least I didn’t run from my own choices. I’m going to go with them for now and maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised at some future date.

A novel is like a puzzle. Do you do crosswords or sudoku? It can be like any kind of puzzle that’s a challenge. It starts off kind of fun and not too hard and then you get to a point where you have to really think and then, it gets very hard and the next step is to assume that somehow the incredibly asinine editors of that particular puzzle made a mistake and there’s no solution!!!! They must have goofed! It’s all wrong. No way to get it to work.

But then, another part of your mind kicks in and tells you that you are a silly goosehead and of course they didn’t screw it up. You realize that you have to work harder. Keep at it. Don’t give up. More than anything else, ASSUME you can make it work. Be confident in the fact that if you go at it from a different perspective or angle or state of mind, you will be able to find the solution. You’ll be successful and in the figuring it out part, you’ll have fun and be proud of yourself.

So that’s the stage of writing that happens in the second two weeks. If you find your novel is a giant challenging puzzle, keep working at it until you find out what the solution is. The editor never goofs! Silly head.

Twelve days in. Twelve is another great number. Twelve days of Christmas. Twelve Apostles. Twelve Steps. Twelve Months. Twelve Dwarves, Twelve Continents, Twelve Shopping Days till it’s too late to send my packages anywhere….oops! I went too far. Twelve is also one of those words that looks stranger and stranger the more you write it.

Today I passed the 20,000 word mark. Now it’s supposed to be smooth sailing for week, right? Something like that.

What I seem to remember from years past is that during the second weeks of the month there are a few brilliant days of massive word count because it’s all flowing stupendously well and then in there all mixed up with the Good Days, are days of complete and total misery due to the fact that what has been free flowing (sometimes disconcertedly so) set-up now has to be turned into Properly Plotted Scenes. [That’s something like Properly Clotted Creams without the calories—or taste.]

It tends to get tight toward the middle of the end. Hmmm. Must be some metaphorical (or physiological) significance somewhere in that sentence….

I do not have any words of wisdom for myself tonight so I think I’ll keep this short. I simply had to blog since today on the twelfth of November, I joined NaNo—no, no—NaBloPoMo. God. I don’t even know what it stands for, but there I was: signing up, giving out all my most personal of information, signing my real name, agreeing to god-knows what terms, uploading photos of myself, writing out a way-too-long and also boring *About Me* section and signing up for about 30 groups. All I know is that I’m supposed to blog everyday in the month of November. Since I was doing it anyway, it had to be worth my time to do all that fixing up of yet again one more social networking group. Right?

Time to go. I hope those Terms of Agreement that I didn’t read didn’t include having to be brilliant.

Hah. No real chance of that on either end.

I don’t know what the title of this post means in this context but maybe I can figure it out as I write it. That kind of process goes along with the writing I do each November.

One upon a time, many years ago, I went to an Al-Anon meeting. An exercise was done where we each picked numbers from a coffee can. The numbers were from 1 to 12 and when our time came, we were to talk about that step in the AA doctrine. I was familiar with the Twelve Steps but only in a cursory way. I was new to this program and had no expertise or practice in doing any of the steps with the possible exception of Step One. I did know that one thing: I felt powerless to control anyone else’s choices. So when my time came, I said,

I got 11. Since I don’t even know what Step 11 is, I guess I just have to look at this as a reminder that I need to do Step 1, twice as often.

The group seemed to like that quite well.

So that’s where the title of this Day 11 came from. Perhaps it does relate to writing. Each day, I sit down and know only that my job is to achieve my word count. Of course, I want to write a good story. Of course, I want it to be interesting and cohesive, and well-written. I want it to build and to have not only a good plot but also fascinating sub-plots. I want it to be insightful and fun and imaginative and surprising.

But if I fill my mind with all those wants, it fills ME with dread. I don’t know how to achieve all that at once on any given day. If I think of all that, I will not get my book written. That’s why I love NaNoWriMo so much. It gives me a daily deadline and a reason to forget all that FOR NOW.

So when I sit down to write each day, I know only one thing: that I have to write at least 1667 words. On most days, I write something that pleases me to some extent. It’s never perfect. Sometimes it is drivel and I know that it will never make the finished version, but that’s okay because I’ve kept going in a forward direction. At least it shows me where I don’t want to go!

In a way, that’s like taking the First Step over and over again. Sit down and write. Tomorrow, do that again. Soon, I’ll have enough material to call it a first draft.

We worry about Step Two when we get there.

It’s going well.

I’m staying on track with the word count. It’s a little scary because I have no cushion but maybe that will come in the loveliness that is (usually; if your lucky and good) Week 2.

What?
We’re already days into Week 2?
oh my.

Yesterday one of those moments we writers live for happened.

I was doing something else. Not writing. Not thinking about writing, though I guess my mind was wandering over the literal landscape of the novel-thus-far, and without warning, an IDEA came. Whew. So great. This idea is so perfectly good and unexpected. It gives me real, plot-driven reasons to continue what I’m doing and will tie this (the third) book into the histories of the first two with such symmetry and excellence that it has left me with the FEELING that I know what I’m doing after all.

HOORAY!!!

It’s all illusion of course (that I know what I’m doing), but we writers don’t care. We love illusion.

Must. Go. Write.